Flower Girl and her mace of death

In August my 3 year old spawn of Satan (Xavier) was the ring bearer in husband's cousin's wedding. So being that we were getting married we decided to return the honor and have her daughter in our wedding.

Mind you Xavier was not the quietest nor the best behaved little ring bearer so when he was whispering during THEIR ceremony I promptly picked him up and carried him in the hall to play.

First we are doing pictures, and this little princess thinks she needs to be in every shot. After the third or fourth time she refused to move I went bridezilla and screamed for her mother to get her.

Before we go to walk down the aisle FFH (flower girl from hell) is running around like a little brat. I tell her mother to come stay with us until she goes to walk down (which is what I did with MY son at her wedding) so flower girl goes down. I can't see anything... now it's my turn to walk down the aisle. What do I get down the aisle to? FFH standing with her flower mace refusing to get out of the aisle. I think to my self "Oh hell to the naw, this is my day bitch, move!" finally she moves. As we get to where Joel is to give me away FFH comes barrelling down with her flower mace and tries to snatch up my bouquet then just screams at the pastor. My Maid of Honor thinks fast and tosses FFH her flowers thinking it would get her away. Our vows were short and sweet. Nobody else could hear them because all they heard was FFH's parents yelling "FFH come here come here" OK they weren't yelling they were whispering loudly. I found out later that as FFH was walking down the aisle she proceeded to whack all the guests on the way down. Where were her parents you ask? Sitting there laughing... because it's cute right. Yeah I don't fucking think so.

Word to the wise if you don't want your flower girl to drop flowers don't go with the new "cool" thing and get her a wand.... just go with NOTHING because that cute little girl will go all flower girlzilla on your ass...

I'm married!

Yesterday my baby daddy turned into my husband!
Chris and I tied the knot. I will give you the down low on the wedding later when I'm not so hung over.....

Here's a teaser of what is to come:

"Flower girl and her mace of death"

"Splinters and ring bearers"

"MP3 players must be operated by the young"

Getting old

I had my bachelorette party last Saturday. It was quite the experience. I realized just how old I actually am. One of the places we went was packed shoulder to shoulder with an age range of 21-24. How can someone have ANY fun being packed into a place like sardines? No room to dance, and then some douche has the balls to try to grind on me. GROSS! Then it hit me. Oh MY GOD 7 years ago THIS WAS ME. Whoring myself out. Letting random men touch me. I am disgusted with myself just remembering this.
Although I find getting old disheartening I am so much happier now. You couldn't pay me to go back to that stage in my life. I love my boring life. I love coming home to my messy house with all my boys. I love not waking up with hang overs or wondering what I did the night before.
My friend Whitney and I always wonder when our parents knew they were "grown up" because we still feel like we did when we were in high school. I don't feel like a grown up, I don't feel like I'm a responsible mommy of 3. Then I get thrown back into where I was 8 years ago and I realize "WHOA WHEN DID I GROW UP?!?!?" I still think I'm not a grown up totally though. I don't think REAL grown ups have the same thoughts as me at times.
So what makes a grown up a grown up?

Target gift card I won

OK, I won this Target gift card that I posted about earlier. I want the presenter of the gift card to know t hat I am not unappreciative I just haven't used it yet. When I do I will be posting about it! Thanks so much!

Wedding Bullshit

So wedding is in like 2 weeks. I'm excited but this shit is getting expensive. It'll be worth it in the end. I'm marrying my best friend and all that jazz.
Here's the thing BD's dad is a douche bag and is not invited to the wedding so he's now given this sob story to that side of the family. The people that said they were coming from his side are now backing out due to feeling "uncomfortable". Seriously what bastard tries to screw with his sons wedding?
My response to the people when they inform us of this decision is "We're sorry you feel that way. We invited who we feel are family or friends. We don't feel comfortable having Brian at the wedding due to his disregard for the sanctity of marriage"
When really I want to say "What ever, if you want to stand behind a lying cheating bastard go for it. We only invited you because we hoped we would get a check." I don't think that would win us any fans though.