Today I interview for the job I have been working towards for a year now. At 1:45 (CST) I will begin the Corrections Officer interview at the women's prison that is just 10 minutes away from my house.
A year ago I took the exams at the prison and passed and now a year later I have the interview. This comes at such an important time. My current job is relocating in June and will add another 20-30 minutes on my daily commute. I have gained a new supervisor who I have come to realize is one shady mo fo so I want out of here REALLY bad.
This is the first step in what I want to be my new career. I've been going to school for Criminal Justice for the past year. I have been dreaming of becoming a CO for such a long time. This is my chance... TODAY.... I'm not really nervous.... I just want this SO bad.....
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Today is the day...
Posted by LivingLifeBackwards at 7:26 AM 3 comments
Monday, April 19, 2010
Crazy lady
Most of you know that Skywalkers dad was heavily involved in drugs and as a result hanged himself at the age of 22. He did this act in the garage of a neighbor with whom he would use for drugs and a place to crash. She's like 60'sh and really weird. She's insane... she's done a lot drugs in the past (and I think present) and she's mentally handicapped or something. I don't like this woman at all she changed her story around the incidents that occured up to Travis' death.
This weekend Skywalker went to his Uncle's house (Travis' brother) I picked him up yesterday and we went to get ice cream. On the way home we drove by the cemetary that Travis is buried in. Skywalker says "Hi Dad" when we drive by. So he said "Hi Dad" and then says "Mom did you kow that 'Crazy Lady' see's spirits and my dad comes to visit her. She talks to him because she loved him like a son." I was instantly pissed. I said "Skywalker 'Crazy Lady' is CRAZY and she LIES. I said she is lying to you" I said "You know your dad and she doesn't need to be telling you lies like that. So the next time she says anything like that to you you tell her that your mom said she's a liar and she's not supposed to talk to you about your dad. If she does you tell her that I'm going to punch her in the face" Skywalker in his infinate wisdom said "OK Mom, I'll tell her the first part but the last part is inappropriate."
Seriously what the fuck is this idiot thinking?!?! Poor Skywalker has enough issues, and on top of that his dad commits suicide and then he's got some crazy bitch saying 'oh your dad talks to me' I'm sure Skywalker is thinking "why doesn't he talk to me?" I am constantly telling him how much his dad loved him and that it was the drugs that made him want to die.
Seriously I'm so pissed off right now.
I did talk to Skywalker's Aunt and told her what happened as she was not in the room or was his Uncle when this happened. She is pissed and is going to tell the crazy lady to not talk about Travis to Skywalker.
Posted by LivingLifeBackwards at 9:02 AM 0 comments
Labels: idiots and dead people
Thursday, April 15, 2010
6 years
Six years ago on March 13th I lost my mom to cancer.
I'm not going to go into all the sappy stuff. I do that all the time. Plain and simple my mom was awesome and I love her more than anything!
Here's the thing every year a couple weeks before the anniversary of her death I turn into a raging bitch. I'm super depressed on the day she died. This year I forgot until later in the evening when I saw a quick reminder. I feel awful. I feel like I've failed her. I don't miss her any less, it has gotten easier but I truly never thought I would get to this point. I talked to baby daddy about it. He said that he did notice this year I wasn't bitchier than normal and that it just means that I'm moving on.
I don't want to move on. I never want to be OK with the death of my mom. So am I an asshole or is just part of the whole grieving, accepting process?
Posted by LivingLifeBackwards at 2:43 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
You can run and you can hide but you can't run
from cancer. This is a joke between me and my BFF. We can joke about this because we're sick fucks and as you all know my mom died from cancer and her grandmother is currently suffering from cancer. We don't joke because we think it's funny we joke because we don't cry. We're fucked up and we know it.
Now, I have my cancer scare. For the last 3 years I've had this spot on my leg. At first I thought it was a blue ink mark that was some strong ass ink that wouldn't go away. In the past three years this spot has grown and is now more black and purple and part of it is over the skin and part of it is under the skin and it is a funny shape. I've known that it needs to be looked at but something stops me from going to the doctor. It's the whole "it'll never happen to me" type stuff the same thing teen girls like myself do with pregnancy... and yet I gave birth to my son at the age of 18. So obviously this method of thinking has not worked out real well in the past. Also around 3 years ago I was getting a pedicure and the woman doing my toes noticed a gray spot on my toe. I told her I must've bruised it. Well that gray spot, it's still there..... then I've been prone to skin tags ever since I've become a fat ass. I have tons in my armpits and it's rather embarassing and I've been meaning to get them removed but you know who has time for that shit. Then about 6 weeks ago I got this HUGE painful lump in my armpit. I thought maybe it was an ingrown hair or cyst. In the past week it's gone down and come up and gone down. I fuck with it sometimes and a couple days ago I got it to bleed... but it wasn't bright red blood so I'm pretty sure it's some sort of cyst. So Monday I am going to a dermatologist and I'm getting all this shit worked on. This morning after talking to a co-worker about my funky shit she told me that she had a friend that found a funny mole on her back and two years later she was dead. So I'm like well shit. So I go to my lovely friend Google and compare bad skin cancer to good skin cancer. Wouldn't you know it out of 4 of the differences my little mole falls into 3 of the categories for the bad skin cancer. The one it doesn't fall into is the size. They say bad skin cancer is normally the size of an eraser tip on a pencil, mine is a little smaller than that. Now I'm a little nervous. I've had the nervous shits all day and I still have another 6 days before I get to the dermatologist.
I've also not been to the gynecologist since 6 week check up after having Mr. Butts. So it's been 18 months. I go tomorrow to get my junk checked out. I'm currently not on any birth control which again is stupid considering I'm dead set against having any more kids. I suck at taking pills. I forget them, and I'm scurred to do the Mirena because I've read too much (thank you Google) and I'm a crazy bitch on my own I don't need the extra hormones to fuck with my happy pills. I'm thinking about getting a copper IUD. I feel ok with this because my other friends husband is a Gynecologist and she has one so if he's cool with his wife having one then it can't be all that bad. PLUS they don't leak hormones into your body.
So what types of scares have you had? What kind of birth control do you use? Oh and don't tell me the shot because I took that one time and you couldn't pay me to do it again. I had all kinds of issues and my OB actually told me he can't believe the shit is still on the market it's so bad.
So tell me your stories good or bad.
Posted by LivingLifeBackwards at 1:02 PM 1 comments
Labels: cancer
Friday, April 9, 2010
Elise Lambert
I heard about this little angel through a friend... this family is struggling with the diagnosis of a terminal brain tumor in their precious little 4 year old daughter.... Please feel free to read the caring bridge site and send a message... or just say a quick prayer for this little girl.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/eliselambert
Posted by LivingLifeBackwards at 9:05 AM 0 comments
