One of my favorite blogger's "Bad Mommy" has put her blog on private... I'm seriously having withdrawals. I don't even know how to email her to get access. Bad Mommy if you're out there please know I miss you and hook a sister up with access. DAMN
After testing negative for that bacteria... I kind of wish it was positive... maybe BD would be easier on me?Ugh, I hate this part of me. When ever we get extra money I decide it's OK to go to lunch, it's OK to pick this up, oh we've been needing one of these... never mind we've been living life just fine without one. Seriously. Why do I do it?
My mom was awful with money. As soon as I started making money my mom would borrow from me. She's had vehicles almost reposessed and had to pawn her rings so she could pay the house payment some months. Before she died she told me to NEVER be bad with money the way she was.
I've never been good with money. I paid my bills... as soon as I got the disconnect notice. Then I met BD, and all that changed now all my current bills are paid on time if not before. Still have a stack of bad credit up to my ass that needs to be taken care. You would think when we got some extra money I would be like OK spend wisely.. oh no. This drives BD insane. I screw up EVERY TIME. I try to get BD to take over the bills. He said that doesn't teach me anything. I have to learn. Seriously getting in trouble 2 or 3 times a year because of this really sucks. I just got busted again nickle and diming our family. I so do not want to go home right now. BD is BEYOND furious with me. Everyone says "So what, you make the money you get to spend it." No not really, that's not true. I have a family that I should think about before being so selfish. I'm not off on shopping sprees. No, not that at all. I just spend a few bucks here and few bucks there and that shit adds up, and it adds up fast. And I did it again. I'm just disgusted with myself... and BD realized what I had done today... OMG I do not want to go home right now. This man is the king of holding grudges. I know I'm in for it BIG time. Pray for me!!! Have any of you had money problems like this? How do you get past it? Am I lost cause?
On my facebook for the past 3 days I've been bitching about heartburn. A friend of my mother's wrote to me that I may have helicobacter pylori. Which is some fancy word for a bacteria that is attacking the lining of my stomach. She told me that my mom complained of heartburn and she told her to get tested and sure enough my mom had it.....
I go to the website the friend showed me and it says that if you are positiveit could also be a sign of stomach cancer... oh fucking great. So now I'm convinced I'm dying. I'm going to get tested and it's going to be positive and I'll be dead soon. Just like my Mom. This also doesn't help that I have a purplish mole on my leg that has grown a bit and it's funky shaped and part is under the skin and part is over the skin and I'm pretty sure that's cancer too. I've been ignoring it but finally made an appointment so if the stomach cancer doesn't kill me I'm pretty sure the skin cancer will.
Skywalker started 4th grade this year. Due to his Asperger's he's always been a bit of a recluse... and had a bizarre sense of humor. He's weird, OK he's weird but he's still a great kid. I see it, other adults see it, but kids... kids aren't so kind. I asked Skywalker if he had 4 or 5 friends he would like to invite over for a sleepover for his birthday party in October. I told him that we could go go-cart racing and mini-golfing. He named off 3 boys and then said "that's it, I don't have any other friends." This broke my heart. Yesterday I was asking bff K's son who is in the same class as my son
Me: "So does SKywalker have friends?"
K's son: "uhhh yeah, some"
Me: "Do they make fun of him?"
K's son: "No, some kids call him gross. Some kids want to be his friend but are scared the other kids will make fun of them"
This breaks my heart. Absolutley rips my heart out stomps on the ground. I do NOT want this for my baby. What do I do? What can I do?
