I just want to cry

I feel awful for feeling this way but I am so uncomfortable. I just want to cry. Every inch of my body has begun to retain water it hurts to squeeze my hands. MY NOSE IS RETAINING WATER. My legs just ache. My stomach... this baby keeps his feet shoved in my ribs on my right side, and then proceeds to grind his head against my left pelvic bone. FYI: I'm not even 5 foot tall. I can't imagine doing this for another 5 weeks. Chris constantly asking me what's wrong... telling me I'm negative. I asked him if I could strap an extra 10 pounds on his front, make him constantly have to pee.. make his boobs leak and then put his balls in a vice and every time he takes a step the vice tightens.... He was like "oh I think you're being dramatic"
He's lucky he didn't get stabbed in the eye. I feel so guilty when there are so many other women out there that can't have baby's and would love to be in my position. The only thing I can think about is being poked with a pin and the stream of water that would shoot out of me.

Living with a paranoid super freak

Chris is such a freak. The other day he brought home meat and freaked out because the outside was red and the very inside middle was touch of gray. Normal to me... not to Chris-- his response OH MY GOD-- THE STORE DYES THE OUTSIDE OF THEIR MEAT RED

We live in a small town, we know all of our neighbors, my family has lived in this neighborhood for almost 20 years. It's the type of town where you don't have to lock your doors or shut your garage doors.
Chris goes to get in the garage, comes inside Chris "I went to get into the garage (had to break in the side door because we lost the key) It looks like someone else has tried to do the same thing."
Me- "uh huh"
Chris: "come to think of it I can't find my gray cd case"
Me- "it's in the basement"
Chris: "well I can't find some of my tools"
Me- "uh huh"
Chris: "It could happen"
Me- "yeah, and they were able to scoot that big ass box back in front of the door as they shut it and locked the door again. You are so flipping paranoid"

Seriously-- I have more but I can't think of them right now.

We have a baby coming in about 5 weeks!!!

OK, I'm starting to stress. We have a baby coming as soon as 5 weeks.... and we have no diapers, no binki's... the bassinett is still in the garage. GAH! I did get the swing out and the car seat, and the bouncy seat are prepared. I need to wash clothes, get another base for Chris' car..... burp cloths.. I don't want it to be like with X. We came home and literally did not have a place for him to sleep! He came early!

How can a big man act like such a little bitch?

GOD, I've about had it with Chris today. It all started this morning. He got up early and threw some cinnamon rolls in the oven. So I wake up and go outside to see what he's doing. He's putting up the net for the trampoline. YAY! now we don't have to be so nervous when Xavier is jumping on it. (Joel is old enough to know) SO he comes in a little later and says to me "You know I have to drill holes in that trampoline to get that net up. Bet you didn't pay attention to that when you bought it did you?! Oh and the net is used, they photo copied the directions." I go look at the directions and they are not photo copied they are fine. So rolling my eyes I yelled at him "YOU KNOW WHAT THE KIDS HAVE TO HAVE THE NET, YOU KNOW IT!!!! QUIT BITCHING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING AND JUST FUCKING DO IT GOD!!!!!" Then I storm upstairs and start bawling. HE is laughing at me all the way while I'm going up there. So 30 minutes later I come down stairs and he has the balls to ask me to have sex. I told him he's lost his fucking mind.
So he goes downstairs to play his video games and I start putting the second coat of paint on the ceiling in the living room. I cover the furniture he comes up stairs starts bitching. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" "Painting the ceiling what does it look like?" He goes back down stairs. Comes back up this time I've taped off a section of the wall and started to paint it plain white. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT??!?!?!?!" I respond with "Because I can" "Goddammit I hate when you paint you make a fucking mess." I look at him and say "Well, who else is going to do it, you sure aren't."
"We have more things to do around here than paint"
"I don't see you doing any of those things either."
"BECAUSE I DON"T THINK WE NEED TO PAINT"
"Well, I do so I am. I don't have 12 fucking years to wait for you to do it"

GOD

So he goes and gets Xavier and comes back home. Xavier decides he wants to go down stairs and play on his train table with Chris. So Chris takes him down there. A little while later Xavier comes back up stairs. He got a new train and wanted me to put batteries in it, and then he gave me all his older trains that the batteries were dead in. So I put new one's in them. He says "I want to go downstairs and play on my train table!!!" Well of course that's where the track is and he's excited because he's got batteries again. So I open the door and start walking downstairs with him. Chris starts coming up the stairs Xavier says "No, Daddy I wanted to play" and Chris tells him "NO, we've been down there a long time!" So Xavier starts to scream and cry so Chris puts him to bed (X has not had a nap today, and most likely stayed up late at Oma's house.) then chris comes downstairs and says to me. "You know what you have a lot of nerve making him come downstairs with me when he's only been up with you for a 1/2 hour." I was FURIOUS!
I looked at him and said "YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE SAYING THAT, YOUR SON JUST WANTED TO PLAY WITH HIS TRAINS AND SHOW YOU THAT HE HAD BATTERIES IN THEM"

GOD, HE'S SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE TODAY. Seriously!!! I swear he's on his period or something. OF course he always says "I wouldn't be an asshole if you weren't such a fucking bitch"
Thank you for letting me vent!

New Toy!!!! YAY!!!

Yesterday my new vacuum cleaner arrived!! It's the Hoover Fusion

Now let me tell you a little bit about this fine piece of machinery. I've been looking at different vacuums as my little Dirt Devil has about reached it's limit.
I got this bad boy on sale at Amazon.com for $37.56 INCLUDING shipping.
I busted this bad boy out last night.. I'm in love. Even if it only lasts a year I can't beat the price!!! It has this super cool pet hair tool. LOL I was doing the couch last night and Chris came up to me and I put it on his stomach. He screamed and said it felt like a midget punched him in the gut. I couldn't help but LMAO. The thing has some suction!!

Life is good!

Yay to new readers!!

So today out of the blue Chris calls me at 11:30.He asks me to go to lunch with him... even though I've already eaten one of my unfulfilling Michealina's I of course say yes. We're talking about how he needs to go get his teeth checked, and his eyes checked before he quits to be a Stay At Home Dad. I respond with "or we can just go to the court house and get married and I'll ad you on mine. It'll be easier that way" (Note, we've been together going on 4 flipping years and he has ALWAYS been the one to say we would do it at a court house when I wanted something tiny just like in the backyard.... let alone the fact he normally LAUGHS IN MY FACE when I bring up marriage) he says "No, because Oma and Opa said they wanted to come back if we get married" I'm in shock... first Oma and Opa are his grandparents... when did he discuss marriage with Oma and Opa? He only talks to them like once a month at his mom's house... 2nd and they live in Germany they are older and after the last plane fiasco when they came for Kent (Chris' brother's wedding) I thought for sure Opa would never return to the states. 3rd so this means Chris has discussed marriage seriously enough to have talked to Oma and Opa about it and they are prepared to attend. OH MY GOD.. .THIS IS HUGE

So I try to play it cool and this is our conversation:
Me: "Oh, when did you talk to Oma and Opa?"
Chris: "When we were at my Mom's last time, when Kent was here because Kent said he didn't even realize it"
Me: "What didn't Kent realize?"
Chris: "Oh I told Oma and Opa on the phone and Kent was on the phone too that I decided I was finally going to get you a ring"
Me: "Oh, I didn't hear you guys talking about it"
Chris: "It was all said in German over the phones, when I told Oma and Opa about it they said that they will be coming back over to attend"
Me: "What did Mutti (German for Mom what we call Chris's mom) say?"
Chris: "That I speak better German than what I give myself credit for"

GAHHHH

Me: "No, about you getting me a ring? Oh I can't remember.. .anyway" .... then he started blabbing on about something else

While me.. I'm sitting in shock that NOT ONLY did he decide to get me a ring... BUT I GET A WEDDING TOO!!!! This is huge, because this means I get a nice wedding... Oma and Opa are VERY much about proper weddings.... I AM SOOOO excited.

He better hurry up with that damn ring so I can start planning!

Faded headlights?

It's been awhile.... nothing new going on just lazy!

I do question this though... as I drive through Altoona and the east part of Des Moines there are these ghetto fabulous signs that say "I fix faded headlights" and then a ph. #... Wouldn't you just buy new one's? Is this like some amazing trade someone has discovered? Is it a joke?

Nesting already?

So, I've been MIA for awhile. I do apologize. I'm in nesting mode. I told you all about Joel's room that I was re-doing. Well it's now been painted, ceiling painted, new light fixture, and I got part of the border up. Of course I need like 5 more feet of border and I refuse to post pictures until it's TOTALLY done.
I also painted the hallways going UP and DOWN the stairs to cover up those little handprints. I got the new modern light fixtures and bought all matching light switch covers. I'm just waiting for chris to install the light switches. I also need to hang my pictures back up again. I then started painting the ceiling in the living room. I had NO CLUE what a pain in the ass painting a ceiling is... I got two coats on half the ceiling, and just one coat on the other half. It's driving me nuts but chris said no more painting for a few days because the fumes are killing him.

Last Thursday I turned 28. This bothers me. I remember like yesterday saying oh wow when I'm 28 Joel will be 10 that's so far away... and now here it is and my baby is turning 10 in October. It's INSANE Now I say when I'm 38 Joel will be 20, Xavier will be 13, Leo will be 10, and Chris threw in and our daughter Chloe will be 7. Seeing how fast the past 10 years have gone I realize that soon I will wake up and I'll be 38... CRAZY.
For my birthday Chris made an appt. for me to get a maternity massage.... BEST THING IN THE WORLD. Any pregnant ladies out there take the time to get one... they are fabulous!

4th of July

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July.

We had Mutti and Rachel over for a BBQ, we watched PS I LOVE YOU (the book is soo much better than the movie) but aren't they always? It's still a good movie though.

Joe-lo has been gone for the past 2 days at his aunt and uncles house. I'll pick him up later this morning. I'm sure he'll be worn out!

I'm writing this blog to brag about the kick ass cake I made for the 4th. It's SO easy, and I am NO domestic diva. I hate cooking, baking but I love to clean...

Check out this amazing cake. It was soooo good.

4th of July cake

Ingredients

Betty Crocker white cake mix

1 pkg strawberry jello mix (or you could use blueberry)

1 pkg fresh strawberries

1 pkg frozen blue berries

Cool whip ( i used the red lable kind with the heavy whipping cream included)

Directions:

Bake your cake per directions on box

Follow the directions to make the jello -- leave out the last step where you cool it!

Poke holes all throughout the cake

pour jello over cake

put in fridge for 2-3 hours to cool

spread whipped cream over top

slice strawberries and lay in lines like a flag

put frozen blueberries in corner

keep in fridge until ready to serve---

and voila!!! here's what you get!!!

Tag... this should perk up my blog a bit!

Eight things I am passionate about:
1. My kids
2. Chris
3. My happy pills
4. Keeping my mom's spirit alive
5. cleaning-- I know it's sad
6. being able to provide every need for my kids
7. being debt free HA HA HA HA
8. Our dog

Eight things I want to do before I die:
1. Backpack through Europe with the whole family when the kids are in their late teens early 20's
2. Visit Chris's family in Germany
3. Live past the age of 49
4. Continue to have close relationships with my kids
5. Be able to babysit my grandchildren
6. Discover my ancestory
7. Get a college degree
8. Watch my kids become successful adults. So when it's my time to go I'll be ok with it.

Eight things I say a lot:
1. XAVIER BRIAN, THAT'S 1, THAT'S 2, GO TO THE CORNER!
2. JOEL!!
3. What-ever Chris
4. I swear to God that phone rings ONE MORE TIME...
5. I love you
6. Joel, I don't want to talk about video games
7. Yes, I'll cuddle with you
8. Tell Daddy to get your drink

Eight books I've read (you'll see I'm a fan of Oprah's book Club)
1. PS I love you-Cecelia Ahern
2. Love, Rosie-Cecelia Ahern
3. Night, Eli-Wiesle
4. His Bright Light- Danielle Steele
5. A Million Little Pieces- James Frey
6. Cane River- Lalita Tademy
7. The Bluest Eye- Toni Morrison
8. Gap Creek- Robert Morgan

Eight movies I've seen (at least) eight times
1. Dirty Dancing
2. Grease
3. Finding Nemo
4. Cars
5. Speed
6. Friday
7. Girl Interrupted
8. Mall Rats

I have to admit.. I really don't have much to say.
We had our class reunion on Saturday. I am in so much pain in my nether regions. I over did it. It's my own fault why at 7 months pregnant I thought it was totally OK to set up tables is beyond me. I won't be doing that again.
The reunion went well I think. I didn't get a chance to talk to a lot of people because I was worried about keeping drinks stocked.
Chris came later, Xavier was exhausted and Chris is SO sociable. I love him but man he drives me nuts he is so unsociable. Part of the reason he was uncomfortable is because he can't remember the people we graduated with. (He got hit in the head with a pipe in his early 20's and forgot the details of High School.) So instead of pretending like he knows people he stands there looking like an asshole and doesn't play along. So after a 1/2 hour I just told him to go home.
Everyone in our class turned out to be pretty normal folks. Just living the family life. Which is great. Nobody really shocked us... besides the one person who thinks she's a vampire/pirate/artist.... She didn't come to the family part but I guess she showed up to the bar part. To each their own I guess.

Nothing else exciting going on. Preparing for 4th of July. Mutti (Chris's mom) is coming over and we're grilling ribs. I love when Mutti comes over. It's like having my mom back for a little while. I'm going to meet up with Sara and Jenn sometime this weekend so they can get out of the house for awhile. I don't think they have left Sara's parents house since before Brad died.

Sorry this blog is so boring but I think only Heather reads it anyway LOL. Hi Heather! Zack is so cute! I'm glad your family is doing so well! Jake looks good and healthy!