Living with a paranoid super freak

Chris is such a freak. The other day he brought home meat and freaked out because the outside was red and the very inside middle was touch of gray. Normal to me... not to Chris-- his response OH MY GOD-- THE STORE DYES THE OUTSIDE OF THEIR MEAT RED

We live in a small town, we know all of our neighbors, my family has lived in this neighborhood for almost 20 years. It's the type of town where you don't have to lock your doors or shut your garage doors.
Chris goes to get in the garage, comes inside Chris "I went to get into the garage (had to break in the side door because we lost the key) It looks like someone else has tried to do the same thing."
Me- "uh huh"
Chris: "come to think of it I can't find my gray cd case"
Me- "it's in the basement"
Chris: "well I can't find some of my tools"
Me- "uh huh"
Chris: "It could happen"
Me- "yeah, and they were able to scoot that big ass box back in front of the door as they shut it and locked the door again. You are so flipping paranoid"

Seriously-- I have more but I can't think of them right now.