Hi, My name is Lindsey and I'm a bitch

OK-- I'm totally in super bitch mode. I want this kid OUT of me!!! So being that I've accepted my super bitchiness I am now going to fill in other people on how fucking annoying they are.



#1 the temp at work-- listen I know you're getting paid shit money to do this job. It's an easy job, TOO easy. I made this cool little book that any moron coming off the street could do this job. So please stop asking me stupid fucking questions when you know I'm going to tell you to look in the book.

Also-- it's a keyboard not a damn typewriter from the early 1900's no need to POUND THE FUCKING THING



Stop sighing-- you are an intelligent girl, stop sighing and acting like this job is causing you tons of brain usage. It's not, don't forget I've been doing this job for a year. I know it's not rocket science. You're not fooling anyone



The mouse--is a lazer mouse, not a ball mouse. NO you don't need a mouse pad. What you need to stop doing is picking it up and slamming it down. That is why it "acts weird"



The calculator-- no need to drop the calculator on your desk every fucking time you use it.



You are not my friend-- i don't have many friends becaues I am a bitch. You are not my friend, I don't think you are witty, I don't think you're cute. I think you are obnoxious.



To my baby daddy--

No I don't want to have sex with you. Too bad if it's been over a month. I can't sit, eat, stand, sleep without being in pain. So sorry if I could careless if you feel rejected. Spit and stroke buddy. Quit bringing up stressful things to talk about. I don't need to stress right now. It's like you get off on it or something.



To everyone- everyone that asks me "how are you feeling"

I don't know... here let me put a 6 pound human on your bladder and jam a knife in your crotch every time you take a step... On top of that let's give you some KICK ASS heartburn. Oh I'm feeling fucking fabulous. I'm miserable.. and when I tell you I'm miserable don't look at me all shocked.



To everyone--everyone that says "haven't had that baby yet"

NOPE that's why I'm still in this fucking office with this big fucking belly. NO I have NOT HAD THAT BABY YET!!



Ok, I'm done.

Thanks!